Your storyboard reads well for the most part (but things aren't helped by the fact that your ghost keeps changing his appearance on account of the way in which he's drawn). We discussed on Tuesday how it will be funnier if you don't show the extent of the damage to the house until the ghost himself sees it - that's your gag, and you need to keep it out of sight for longer in order for it to work. Your big challenge now, Zoe, is to demonstrate a level of professionalism and polish in regards to the various components you're required to produce; so, first and foremost, I'm expecting to see a script created using Adobe Story, in which you demonstrate your understanding of how to convey action and camera etc. according to industry conventions. I trust you attended Simon's class when he introduced you to Story? Can I suggest that you look at the professional examples of scripts in the 'Script Writing Resources' folder on myUCA for further guidance. While your storyboard communicates the basic thru-line of your story, it's far from 'client ready' and you'll need to work up a polished, presentation-quality version as part of your final submission (and in readiness for the production of your animatic). This presentation standard storyboard should likewise demonstrate your technical knowledge of the various conventions of storyboarding, so nicely illustrated camera movement etc.
You also need to develop and execute all the supporting production art; character sheets, environments (interior/exterior) and props, and again, my expectation is that you're going to work in a crisp, clean and professional way. There's not much evidence of any actual, sustain character design yet - just a few pencil drawings. I want to see you stepping away from your sketchy, hesitant line work, and working instead with tools more likely to encourage cleaner workflow - so Sketch Book Pro (to which you were introduced last term) and perhaps Illustrator, which also has tools allowing you to work with clean, unbroken lines. I think you will find it more helpful if you seek to adopt a more stylised, simplified aesthetic: so looking more at these kinds of story world:
Essentially, you're making a fun cartoon, driven by slapstick and physical comedy; in this respect, go for a classic cel-shaded, simpler approach - and ban the scribbly pencil and grubbied sketch book pages. In short, your challenge, Ms Thornton, is to clean up your act and show me some good, old-fashioned technical knowledge: I want a proper script, a proper storyboard, and proper design sheets, and I don't want to see a single hairy-lined, wishy-washy pencil drawing anywhere! :)
Your story is fun - now make it look like a Saturday morning cartoon show!
OGR 04/02/2016
ReplyDeleteHi Zoe,
Your storyboard reads well for the most part (but things aren't helped by the fact that your ghost keeps changing his appearance on account of the way in which he's drawn). We discussed on Tuesday how it will be funnier if you don't show the extent of the damage to the house until the ghost himself sees it - that's your gag, and you need to keep it out of sight for longer in order for it to work. Your big challenge now, Zoe, is to demonstrate a level of professionalism and polish in regards to the various components you're required to produce; so, first and foremost, I'm expecting to see a script created using Adobe Story, in which you demonstrate your understanding of how to convey action and camera etc. according to industry conventions. I trust you attended Simon's class when he introduced you to Story? Can I suggest that you look at the professional examples of scripts in the 'Script Writing Resources' folder on myUCA for further guidance. While your storyboard communicates the basic thru-line of your story, it's far from 'client ready' and you'll need to work up a polished, presentation-quality version as part of your final submission (and in readiness for the production of your animatic). This presentation standard storyboard should likewise demonstrate your technical knowledge of the various conventions of storyboarding, so nicely illustrated camera movement etc.
You also need to develop and execute all the supporting production art; character sheets, environments (interior/exterior) and props, and again, my expectation is that you're going to work in a crisp, clean and professional way. There's not much evidence of any actual, sustain character design yet - just a few pencil drawings. I want to see you stepping away from your sketchy, hesitant line work, and working instead with tools more likely to encourage cleaner workflow - so Sketch Book Pro (to which you were introduced last term) and perhaps Illustrator, which also has tools allowing you to work with clean, unbroken lines. I think you will find it more helpful if you seek to adopt a more stylised, simplified aesthetic: so looking more at these kinds of story world:
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/f/f3/Original_Finn.png/revision/latest?cb=20120921151658
http://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/2012/05/18/5/301/3019466/3a38b224706d7b40_Ren_and_Stimpy.xxxlarge/i/Ren-Stimpy.jpg
http://cinemagogue.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wile_e_coyote_and_road_runner_wallpaper-29519.jpeg
Essentially, you're making a fun cartoon, driven by slapstick and physical comedy; in this respect, go for a classic cel-shaded, simpler approach - and ban the scribbly pencil and grubbied sketch book pages. In short, your challenge, Ms Thornton, is to clean up your act and show me some good, old-fashioned technical knowledge: I want a proper script, a proper storyboard, and proper design sheets, and I don't want to see a single hairy-lined, wishy-washy pencil drawing anywhere! :)
Your story is fun - now make it look like a Saturday morning cartoon show!